my FIRST love?? {the ANSWER may suprise you}

The Revolution Will Not Be Televised- Gil Scott Heron
by larsen42

Which came first: the chicken or the egg? Who knows? Well here is a better question. Which came first: women who loved and embraced themselves or "Carrie Bradshaw" telling women to love and embrace themselves? Okay, YES I went to the movies yesterday. As a matter of fact, I set my alarm for 8am, got up, dressed up very stylishly and took myself to the movies to see Sex and the City. In my early twenties I would go over to Brandy and Anitra's and we would all watch that weeks episode and chat it up afterwards.

But watching every episode of this series couldn't prepare me for the movie. I wont give it away to those who haven't seen it, but I will say this: it gave me a moment of clarity in my own life and the courage to live the way I chose and to have no regrets about it.

Which brings me back to my blog title, My first love? To know my first love will give me insight into why I do what I do and what made me love it. I had a garage sale the week before graduation, and in conversation someone asked about some artwork I was selling. That started a conversation with my mom and I about 'the arts' and the ones I love. I explained to the person that I was(in what feel like a past life) an artist, a poet and performer. They then asked why I stopped any/all of it. My mom replied that "Fashion was her new love. You know how young girls are, but art was her first love." I then disagreed. Wasn't music my first love? I wasn't sure. I needed time to think....

So here is the conclusion. My earliest memories are of writing. Making a Mothers day card for my mom and creating my own rhyming poem for the inside. Then maybe I was 7 or 8 I remember writing a song. It wasnt a good song, I still remember the lyrics...I wont type them for you, but I thought it was clever. LOL

For me poetry and art went kind of hand and hand. They were my first loves. My art never seemed to measure up (in my mind) to others I saw around me, but poetry; MY poetry always amazed the masses. In high school I made a killing junior and senior year making 1of a kind valentines for my classmates boyfriends. Complete with art and original poetry!! LOL Wow, I knew then that I wanted to be an entrepreneur. It was also in my junior year that I met the lady named, Fashion. A rep from SCAD[Savannah College of Art and Design] came to speak to my art class. My teacher set up a one on one meeting for me and after reviewing my fashion sketches, I was told that the school would be in touch. And they were constantly through my senior year. My last year of high school my teacher designed an independent study for me to delve into the study of fashion.

My 4 years at SCAD taught me so much. But they will most be remembered for being the place where I fell in and out of love with fashion design. I got into fashion right before the peak. I got in before everyone and they momma decided they could throw some bleach on some jeans and call themselves a designer. Once it became uber mainstream, I lost my interest; I refused to be lost in the abyss of ____________ "fashion designer".

Whats that in the background? What do you hear? The soundtrack to my life. Music has been with me all along. My love for music, my family jokes, is one of the many things that my fathers West African blood ingrained in me. Rhythm has always come naturally to me. I have a love for music that few understand. Music has sustained me through times in my life that would have broken others. But alas, music was not my first love. It was and will always be poetry. My drug will always be an open mic. The rush that flows throw me before I step onto stage and after a great show is like nothing I have ever felt. The pen will always be my weapon and my tongue the mighty sword. =)

NEW POETRY TO COME TO THIS BLOG VERY VERY SOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(arent you excited??)